Feeling flat & tearful

Not sure what it is but something is wrong again.

I think I'm depressed.  No, I know I'm depressed but I'm determined to do something about it myself.  It's not all the time.  Not every day.

I was depressed when I was with Nick, I was unhappy.  He wasn't right for me.

I'm watching bloody friends and its all 'happily ever after' and 'amazing' friends.

I have some amazing friends and, lets be honest here, there is no happily ever after..  So I'm cool :)
I need to get up and on with my day.  Lots to do.

1. Get back in shape
2. I need to exercise every day but I can't be bothered.
3. Tidy up my space - My room, bathroom, Zach's room, Sebs room, Boys bathroom, little study, toy room. Seven rooms, thats it :)
4. Drink 1.5 litres of water per day.

I need to be the best me I can be

I'm still happy by myself.  I'm happy by myself, I'm happy, repeat..until you believe it..

I keep having these thoughts that A is somehow going to come back into my life but I know deep down that he won't.  If he wanted to be with me he would be.  He didn't.  As soon as he was able to be with me, he changed his mind and decided that he didn't want to after all!  He wanted me when he couldn't have me and not when he could.  That is what it was, all it was and all it ever will be.  If he didn't want it, then it can't have been meant to be.

I need to focus on me and on my life and making it as wonderful as it can be without interference from any man.  Not Nick, my father, my brothers or anyone else.

I need organisation in my life and a plan!  I need a plan not a man!